


But There's Nothing To Be Afraid Of

by bluntbruhszouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, I also suck at Summaries, I suck at tags, Kid Fic, M/M, Smut, daddy!Liam, fireman!liam, lots and lots of fluff, mentions of Anthony, zayn works in his uncle's toyshop, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 16:52:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3454598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluntbruhszouis/pseuds/bluntbruhszouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>or the one where Zayn is scared of losing people and terrified of love but Liam reassures him that both are just a part of life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was like this every summer. Zayn would pack his bags and head down to Wolverhampton to stay with his uncle for the duration of vacation. It all started when he, Zayn's Uncle Zedd, would come to see him and his family during the winter when he was a child.

After his father leaving, Zayn would enjoy when Zedd would come over. He taught him a lot of things from riding a skateboard to driving a car to shaving to long division. He was basically the fatherly figure that Zayn craved and every time his uncle would pull up to his driveway, the younger one would find himself racing towards the door to greet him. He absolutely adores Zedd and the feeling was mutual vise versa.

After a particularly bad semester at school, Zedd had asked his sister, Zayn's mum, if Zayn could stay with him a while just to get away from the stress of school and the bullies he's read in the rants Zayn would send him via text.

They then began a deal that if Zayn kept his grades up and helped around the house, Zayn could spend his summers in Wolverhampton. And though Zayn had just graduated college, he felt like this was no exception.

He found himself at the small cottage early that evening, driving himself from his home to the familiar town. He could already see the lights on in the home and he just knew that when he got there, his uncle would be making his favorite--baked chicken with a side of mash and ice tea to wash it all down.

The boy wastes no time pulling parking his car and hopping out, pulling his clunky luggage up the walkway and ringing the doorbell.

The familiar face opens the door and instantly, Zayn brightens up.

"Uncle Z!" he grins.

"Baby Z!" the older man greets just as loudly and pulls Zayn into a bone crushing hug.

They embrace for a bit before Zayn pulls away and looks at the man properly and its then he notices something a bit off.

Zedd is a lot skinnier than he remembers, his body drowning in the size medium shirts he always wears and his skin is as pale as a ghost. His hair, once thick and long like Zayn's, has been buzzed short. His eyes look sunken in and worry lines litter his once young features.

"Uncle Zedd..." Zayn starts off.

"Come in, now," he interrupts, pulling Zayn inside and shutting the door. He opens his mouth to say something else but Zedd interrupts once more. "Listen, Z. I have to go to a meeting tomorrow early in the morning so I'm going to need you to head to the shop and take over. I know you're just getting here and all but-"

"No," Zayn smiles. "It's fine." He and Zedd walk into the kitchen (where Zayn's favorite foods are already laid out) and sit down. Without more words, he begins to dig in.

"You sure you're fine with watching the shop? I know how irritated you could get sometimes with the costumers." Zedd has owned a toy shop ever since Zayn could remember and by the time Zayn had turned thirteen, he could file taxes for the store all by himself. He and Zedd spent many days there. Many of the town kids had known Zayn because he was always there to tell them of the newest arrivals. But Zayn also found himself getting easily irritated as he was more of an introvert and would find himself lingering in the back to fix toys or help keep the records tightly.

But that wouldn't stop him from helping Uncle Zedd out with his request.

"Don't worry about it. I'll just eat and shower up then hit the sheets. You go get some rest too, okay?" Zayn says in a caring tone. Zedd gives him an apologetic smile then nods, knocking his fist into his shoulder then leaves up the steps.

Zayn opens up the familiar shop at seven in the morning like always. He's driven himself and stopped by to get a bit drink on the way at the local bakery where he sees his old pal Harry.

Harry was a cheeky, curly lad who owned the bakery after his father retired. He was one of the few town kids that Zayn could actually tolerate and liked how deep of a conversation the younger one could hold. It was always a pleasure to see Harry and upon seeing each other this time, agreed that they'd have lunch later this week to hang out and catch up.

Harry handed him his regular tea, as Zayn never really fancied the way coffee made his hands shake, and with one last hug sent him off.

The toy shop was just as magical as Zayn remembers. There were old toys, new toys, comic books, candy, and basically anything and everything that made a child feel like they've died and gone to heaven.

Zayn drops his bag off behind the counter and looks around the well lit room.  He grew up here. This toy shop was his home.

He remembers when the old wood floors turned to tile, when peeling wall paper became his own graffiti and art, when broken shelves became bigger and higher. He basically helped Zedd build this place from the ground up and its weird to think that this place kind of grew up with him.

He settles in the stool and turns the radio on to his favorite rock station, they're playing old Nirvana songs, and smiles with content.

It doesn't take long for the comfort of being alone to be interrupted though because before Zayn could even pick out his book, the bell on the door rings and what sounds like ten thousand rhinos stampeding towards him sound through along with the call of his name.

"ZAYN!" a thick Irish accent shouts. Zayn doesn't have time to react as a small body hops over the counter and climbs into his lap, giggling into his neck and leaving kisses all over his face.

"Hey, Ni!" Zayn laughs, slobber beginning to wet his face. He pulls back a bit and looks into those giant blue eyes and once again grins. "Niall!" he shouts with glee before peppering his face with kisses.

"You two should be married. Really," a third voice rings. The third body hops on to the counter and takes a seat. "It's sickening how much you love him."

"Hey, I did the same thing to you when you came back from Uni, Lou," Niall pouts while releasing his limbs from Zayn.

"He's an affectionate little puppy," Zayn coos and watches as Louis pulls Niall under his arms and kisses his forehead as well. He grins. "How'd you two know I was back?"

"Harry sent out a group text," Louis answers as he lets go of the blond. "We came running as soon as we heard."

Louis was Harry's long term boyfriend and one of Zayn's best friends. He remembers being younger and thinking Louis was the coolest because he could do multiplications of seven in his hjead. He was loud and cheery and they met through Harry when Louis had come to the shop with his many sisters to shop for toys.

Harry had been gawking at the newest comic book when Louis came up behind him saying "Beautiful." Harry had turned around and said "I know, the new Spiderman series is so good!" To which Louis replied, "Oh. Yeah, it is. But I was referring to the Prince Charming in front of it."

They say that Harry was red for two years. They had been dating since Harry was sixteen and Louis was eighteen. It's amazing to see how long they lasted but no surprise

Niall, on the other hand, was the baby of their group, despite Harry being the youngest. There was just this innocence he held that kept the other two boys grounded. Yeah, Niall could drink until there was no beer left in the pub and he can make very dirty jokes but that doesn't change the fact that he's forever happy-go-lucky. And none of the boys ever wanted to see that ever fade.

"Z," Louis says, his voice making Zayn look up from watching fondly as Niall sat cuddled to his leg, playing on his phone. "We're heading out for drinks later. You should come."

He smiles and nods his head. "Yeah, I'll ask Uncle Zedd. He went to a meeting but I'll see him when he comes back later."

Zayn doesn't miss the way blue eyes lock together for a quick moment before Louis regains his composer and pushes himself off the counter.

"Very well," he says while pulling Niall up from his spot. "Send us a text later and I'll pick you up. Alright?" He gives him a soft smile. "Tell Uncle Zedd that I told him to remember to go to his meetings even though you're here. Tell him it's important he goes to all of them."

Zayn gives him a confused face but before he can question it, they're heading towards the door. He waves them one last goodbye, Niall grinning at him and screaming that he loves him, before they're gone and he's once again left in the quiet of the shop. 

He does the usual things he's always done when he helps out. He sweeps the floor, wipes the counter, restock comic books and toys, straightens out the candy in the display and right as he's starting to head to the back room to clean up a bit in the back, the door opens.

He turns, expecting Uncle Zedd to be at at the door with a grin but he's instead greeted by the squeal of a boy screaming "Dada they have it!" and the thumping of feet across the floors.

The man, who Zayn assumes is Dada, gives him an apologetic smile and rushes to the little boy who is eagerly standing in front of the display case.

"See! The ones you like! I told you!" His fingers are tapping the glass excitedly and Zayn half wonders if it's possible to break glass by tapping on it too much.

"Taylor, baby, calm down." The man chuckles and crouches down behind him. "I see it and I'm really glad they have it. But let's not tap the glass. You'll get fingerprint on it! And what if someone breaks in? The cops will have to scan for fingerprints and find yours and think you're a bandit!"

"Can I be a spiderman bandit?" he so innocently asks, making Zayn's heart warm.

"Bandit, buddy. Not band aid!" The man presses a kiss to his cheeks and stands up to look at Zayn. "Sorry about that. Taylor is just a little hyped up ever since he's come here last time. He keeps saying that they have my favorite candies and I've just gotten around to coming here to see if it's true."

Zayn chuckles, "Don't apologize. Kids will be kids, eh?" He looks down at the display case and smiles when he sees the boy looking straight at the case of maltesers. He picks up a scoop and a white paper bag and gives them a pound full of just that before he stands back up and hands it over. "Five pounds."

The man begins to pull his wallet out when the door rings. It's not Zedd (which is making Zayn wonder where he could possibly be) but Niall.

"Z, I think I left my - Oh, hey Liam!" the blond greets while sliding behind the counter to pick up his ray bands that he had dropped on his earlier visit. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Right back at you," the man - Liam - says with a grin. "Didn't know you worked here?"

"I don't!" he quips while swinging an arm around Zayn's shoulders. "Just have my connections!" Zayn rolls his eyes and grabs the five from Liam and puts it in the register. "Zayn, I'd like you to meet Liam. Liam, this is Zayn."

"So you're the famous Zayn this entire town talks about," Liam chuckles while extending his hand, to which Zayn shakes back.

"They talk about me?.." he says in an unsure tone.

"Nothing bad," Liam interrupts. "Just I moved here a couple of months ago and people at the shops have been buzzing about how it's almost summer and how they can't wait to see what you look like this year." Zayn blushes at that. "You're quite well known. Especially around the bakery."

"He's the only way we know it's officially summer," Niall chuckles. "Zaynie here has been our marker since he was just a wee lad, innit right?" Zayn rolls his eyes and turns back to wiping the counter once again. "Hey, don't get shy on me. We're all having a conversation."

"Dada we're gonna go Nialler?" Taylor pipes up, his face already covered in chcolate.

Liam laughs, "No, baby. We've got to get home and finish cleaning. Remember that we have guests coming over?"

"Not Nialler comin over?" he pouts.

"Maybe next week." Liam bends down and picks Taylor up and rests him on his shoulders in a piggyback ride. "You got plans next week, Niall?"

"I do now," he grins at Taylor. "Common lil man, pound it!" He sticks his fist out and Taylor returns with a punch. 

"Bye bye Nialler!" Taylor waves.

"Bye guys!" Niall waves as they leave out the door. As soon as it clicks shut, Niall turns to Zayn with a wicked grin.

"What?" Zayn mutters.

"So... What did you think of Liam?" Niall smirks. 

"Uh... He had nice hair I guess? Why?" Zayn replies while moving to the back room.

"Because he was totally checking you out!" Niall retorts while holding Zayn's shoulders.

"Impossible," he crosses his arms. "He has a kid-"

"And?!"

"I don't know if you passed Sex Ed or just fell asleep but you need a vagina to make a child and seeing how much alike they looked, Taylor certainly wasn't adopted," Zayn says.

Niall rolls his eyes. "He's single! I don't know what happened but-"

"Niall he's probably in to girls-"

"You can't just assume sexuality!" Niall screams. 

"Coming from the boy who is trying to press that he's not straight," Zayn pushes him away. Niall frowns at the response he's getting. "Listen, Ni. I know what you're trying to do. But you and Harry have both got to stop trying to hook me up with people. I'm fine with being on my own. Okay?"


	2. Chapter 2

Zayn closes the shop early that afternoon. He's here a week early this year and kids are still in school so they're less likely to come into the shop on school days.

He takes a last glance at the shop and then shuts and locks the door, heading to his car without much thought. He's ready to pull out and onto the road when he receives a text from his uncle.

_Uncle Z: Hey! We've been invited somewhere to eat tonight! Hope you don't mind. Shower up quick when you get home!_

And yeah, Zayn didn't really like going to meet new people but he usually sucked it up for his uncle because he knew that he'd never take him somewhere without being sure he was going to be absolutely safe.

Besides, they're probably meeting with that new neighbor he's been going on about to Zayn, saying something about how he's a real help around the neighbourhood and how Zayn might like him.

So, he doesn't think much of it. Not when he's driving home, not when he enters the house and says hello to his uncle (who's watching the football game on the telly), not when he showers and especially not when they're walking across the street and knocking on the door, only to see a familiar looking face from earlier.

"Hello Zedd and--" The pair of big brown eyes crinkle into little slits when they land in the person next to Zedd. "Zayn, was it?"

"You've met?" Zedd asks quizzically.

"Toy shop," Liam says, bringing one of his hands from behind his back to show them the white bag that is only half full now. "You'll have to excuse Taylor if he gets a bit rowdy. He got into it while I was mopping earlier. Little rascal, he is."

"Maybe he just wants to be the Spiderman band aid," Zayn says under his breath only loud enough for Liam to hear. The other chuckles lightly before clearing his throat and motioning the two inside.

"Thank you again for agreeing to come over Mr. Brannan. I really do appreciate your company. It's always a joy to have you over."

"This isn't your first time here?" Zayn mutters to him with a sort of surprised expression.

Zedd shakes his head, "No. Liam has been inviting me over here for a while now. He's the one who I told you has been over at my place helping out. Him and Taylor are always a joy to be around."

"Zeddy!" a fourth voice calls as if he just knew he was being talked about.

The same boy from earlier runs into the room and throws himself at Zedd, wrapping his little arms around his leg and grinning into his side.

Zayn smiles. He remembers when he could do that when he was younger, his face always filled with so much excitement and joy at the sight of Zedd pulling into his driveway during the holiday seasons.

"Taylor," Liam says, pulling Zayn from his daydream. "What did I tell you?"

"It's alright. Really." Zedd bends down and rubs his hand down the back of Taylor's buzzed cut head. "Taylor, buddy. I'd like you to meet my nephew, Zayn. He's the special friend I've been telling you all about."

"He's the candy man!" Taylor grins and points to the bag that was still in Liam's hand. "Dada said we go again to see him next week for more maltesers!"

"I can bring them here if you'd like," Zayn says to Taylor in a gentle tone. "So you don't have to come all the way to the store. And I'll make it on the house since you're such a cheeky young lad," he grins, tapping his nose and looking up at Liam. "That is, if your father wants."

"I can come down," he says.

Zayn finds no point in arguing and instead, offers Taylor a soft grin. He had always been comfortable around kids. There was something about them that made him feel as though he could be himself. And looking at Taylor's bright brown eyes that crinkled much like his father made Zayn feel that much more comfortable.  Maybe it's their innocence that he's drawn to, the way they didn't see the war and pain but beauty and happiness. 

Zayn wishes he was a kid again. Times were simpler then.

"I ordered pizza for tonight, if that's okay. My dad always said that that's the best thing to each while watching a big game." He motions towards the kitchen and Zayn can smell the pizza lingering in the air.

"Is there a cheese pizza? Zayn here only eats cheese," Zedd says while patting Zayn on the back.

"ME TOO!" Taylor gasps out. "Dada, it's like we were made to be friends!"

Zayn chuckles, "Do ya now, little man? Well, me and you should grab a slice sometimes. I know this great pizza place around here. I'll take you sometimes."

"Dada comes?" Taylor asks, looking back and forth between the two men.

"Why don't you ask him?" Zayn nudges him.

"Dada come date with me and Zayn?" Taylor grins.

"Date?" Zayn mutters worriedly.

"Of course I'll go on a date with you, Taylor!" Liam laughs while picking the three or four year old up and placing him on his hip. "But for right now, let's go get that pizza we have here, hm?"

Zayn exhales a little too loudly, making Liam look at him and chuckle, sending a wink his way. Zayn just bites his lip and follows behind the line to the kitchen to grab himself a couple of slices of pizza and some cola before sitting himself at the table.

"You can eat on the couch if you'd like," Liam says to him quietly as Zedd and Taylor pass by and over to the couch that was literally right in front of the table.

"s'fine," Zayn replies shyly. "Messy eater and all, you know?"

"Zayn, you're the cleanest eater I've ever known," Zedd side comments upon hearing them. "But if you feel comfortable then you sit there and whenever you'd like, whether still eating or not, you can come here. Okay?"

Zayn smiles softly. He's a bit shy when it comes to eating in front of others.

Liam looks at Zayn and nods his head. "Yeah. Do that." He crosses into the living room and sits down on the couch, Taylor sitting in the middle and Zedd sitting at the other end. Just as the games about to start, Taylor whips around and looks at Zayn.

"Dada, Zayn eating alone?" he frowns. Liam just glances back at Zayn then to Taylor and smiles at the little boy. "It's okay. I eat with Zayn." Taylor ignores his father's whispered protests and takes his plate and big boy spiderman cup filled with Kool-Aid, and makes his way over to sit next to Zayn, who is grinning and waiting with open arms.

Zayn doesn't know it, but Zedd is watching him with a fond smile as he sits and says "Hey Tay!" with an excited and genuine tone and the way his eyes sparkle at the little one.

"Zayn and me are partners, okay?" Taylor says. Zayn agrees, of course. Who could deny those eyes?

They're half way through the game when Liam makes a hesitated noise. He's been on his phone the last ten minutes or so, only looking up when the crowd begins to cheer.

"What's wrong, Liam?" Zedd frowns. 

Liam groans and rubs his temples. "I have to work on the days where I don't have a babysitter."

"And what days would that be?" Zedd asks curiously. 

"Monday through Wednesday," Liam explains. Those are the days he knows his teenage babysitter works at her regular job and he's specifically told his job he can't work on the days he doesn't have a babysitter and yet, he can't get out of today.

"Well," Zedd begins while looking back at Taylor. "Why don't you bring him to the shop? Zayn can watch him. They're getting on great and he loves children," he gestures towards the two who weren't even watching the game. Zayn had found an old receipt in his pocket and had begun to doodle on it, not really caring much for the game, but had caught Taylor's attention and the little boy was watching intently as he drew little cartoons on it.

"He wouldn't mind?" Liam asks worriedly.

Zedd looks back, "Z."

"Yeah?" Zayn looks up.

"Liam has to work Monday through Wednesday. Would you mind if he brought Taylor to the shop for you to watch him?" Zedd asks.

"Course not," Zayn smiles at Liam. "I could do that."

And for the first time in a while, Zayn feels somewhat confident when he's talking to someone who is almost a complete stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapter is so short but I hope you like it .x :)


	3. Chapter 3

Zayn loved Niall first.

They were five and had met one day when Zayn had been skateboarding down the road and fell, scraping his knee so badly, he wasn't sure if he could ever walk again at the time.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting on the corner crying until a boy with bright blue eyes had appeared and with a worried face and said "Bro, are you okay?! Wait, I'm going to get my mummy! Don't move, okay?!" before disappearing, reappearing with a woman holding a first aid kit in her hands not even a minute later.

Niall held Zayn's hand whilst she dabbed his wound with alcohol. When she finished, put Spiderman themed plaster over them and patted his head and smiled. Niall and Zayn had been best friends ever since that night when they the two took him home and Niall made it clear that he thought Spiderman was the absolute best superhero and that's why his mum owned those types of plasters.

He was the breath of crisp autumn that Zayn could never get enough of. Through the years, their friendship had bloomed. Zayn could never get enough of Niall's laughter that warmed his stomach like hot chocolate on a cold winter day. 

When he was thirteen, he fell in love with Harry. 

Harry was the best thing that had ever happened to Zayn during his years of puberty. He was the new kid in town, his mother taking over the old bake shop that had been passed down from her grandmother.

Harry was a cheeky boy. He was years beyond himself, finding his joy in reading books and staying up late at night with Zayn and asking about his views on various things.

_"Zayn, why do you think cheese in a can was invented?"_

_"For convince, Harry."_

_"Zayn, how many stars do you think are in the sky?"_

_"Billions, Harry. But there's an entire universe inside of your green eyes."_

_"Zayn, do you believe in aliens?"_

_"We can't be in this entire galaxy by ourselves, Harry."_

_"Zayn, why do you believe in love?"_

_"Harry, love happens to people like you. Not people like me."_

And they'd sit quietly for a while before Harry would curl up in Zayn's side and ask

_"Zayn, why can't you love?"_

And Zayn would brush back Harry's mop of hair and say, _"I can love. I love you, I love Niall, I love my family. I just don't want to love in a way that leaves me more broken than I already am."_

And perhaps Zayn loved these talks with Harry and perhaps they were his favorite parts of late summer nights, long after Niall had fallen asleep on the bed by himself whilst Zayn and Harry sat by the open window and admired the bright, night sky.

Zayn loved Harry because he was different from the other people he's known in life. He was sensible and cheeky and so damn naive. He could love in the way that Zayn could only imagine. He was everything Zayn wanted to be but couldn't because he was so afraid.

That's probably why he fell in love with Louis when he was sixteen.

Louis had moved down to town and his presence was immediately known.

He was the embodiment of danger and practical jokes. His little body and loud, loud, louder personality shook the entire town until it was clear that Louis Tomlinson had arrived and he was here to stay.

Louis and Zayn got on quickly, being as Louis worked a short time at the shop before Zayn sadly had to fire him because _Sleeping is not what we had set in your job description_.

Louis gave Zayn this vibe that told him that no matter what, he'd be his main mate and would do anything for Zayn, showing him when Zayn had gotten bullied at school one week during the school year and Louis, being eighteen, drove his big bum all the way down to Bradford and beat up Zayn's bullies while Zayn was at home, faking another illness to avoid those cruel boys from school.

Louis didn't tell Zayn about his adventure but made it clear that if even a hair was laid on his "precious little Zaynie-kins ever again, I will kick your asses until all you could do is kiss them yourselves."

That summer, Zayn returned to see Louis and Harry had fallen in love, something he thought was bound to happen after all of the googly eyed messages Harry had sent Zayn about the boy with "swoopy hair" and "electrifying blue eyes".

And he was glad they had and that they still took care of his little Niall, despite being absolutely head over heels in love with each other.

If Zayn could find love in anything, it had to be those three boys. They gave him the feeling of acceptance that he had never really felt anywhere else. When he was with them, he felt more at home than he did in Bradford. They were the main reason why he'd come back this summer.

They were the main reason he came back every summer.

They're all he's been thinking about as he's laying in bed that night and it's to the point where he's sent out a group text for someone to come over and before he knows it, Harry is crawling through his window, falling face floor on the floor like the cluts he is.

"Couldn't use the door like a normal man?" Zayn huffs, not even bothering to get up and check to see if he's okay. Harry's fallen enough to be numb to the pain.

"Me? A normal man?" Harry scoffs. He reaches the bed in the dark bedroom and pats Zayn's side. "Scoot. This bed isn't as big as it used to be."

"Take your shoes off, mate. You know I hate it when  you guys wear your shoes on my bed," Zayn groans, watching Harry as he turns his back to the wall and presses it to the cold surface.

"With all the things you've put on this bed, my shoes are the least of your worries," Harry retorts but complies and pulls his sneakers off before laying down next to Zayn and smiling. "Now Zaynie-kins. What so ever seems to be the problem?"

Zayn chuckles. "Nothing. Just missed you, s'all." And maybe it's because they've known each other for so long that they have no problem cuddling and falling asleep together. Louis didn't have a problem with it and he's cuddled with Zayn and Niall both just to prove it. As long as Harry made sure that Louis knew he was his boyfriend and only his boyfriend, things like this continued. 

Harry's warm, Zayn's always noted that. He's a hug just waiting to happen.  His big hands know exactly how to pull Zayn in and how to rest them just under his shoulder blade. He knows how to talk to Zayn at this time of night, between him wanting to sleep and him fighting to sleep, the light yet deep voice that could vibrate a lullaby into Zayn's ears. He knew how Zayn liked the little hairs in the nape of his neck to be played with and how he'll always love it if Harry sings Cigarette Daydream to him.

And Zayn's got this look on his face that says he's in deep thought so it was good that Harry, of all people, had come over to be with him.

"Whatcha thinking bout, Zayn?" Harry asks, his hand resting between the two of them while the other is tucked under his head. The only other sound that could be heard is the soft summer wind that was blowing into the room from Zayn's still open window.

Zayn glances at it and thinks about closing it but decides against it. Harry is a radiator sometimes and his fan broke from him knocking his suitcase on it last summer so he'll have to do with that.

He's drawn back to Harry when he feels his long fingers poke into him. He blinks a couple of times before shaking his head and looking at Harry and offering a half smile.

"You're thinking about something. Care to share with the class?" Harry raises his eyebrow. Zayn shrugs his shoulders the best his could in the position he was in. "Common, Z. You don't just call us over to keep you up for nothing. Last I checked, you loved your sleep."

"And I love you guys," Zayn replies finally. "But..."

"But?" Harry frowns. "Zayn, you sound like you're breaking up with us. What's going on?"

Zayn shuffles around a bit, the room feeling a bit hotter as he tries to move around. He gives up within seconds, looking at Harry's harsh gaze and swallows thickly.

"Harry, I think this might be the last summer for me here," he flat out states.

There's sudden silence as Harry looks at Zayn with wide eyes. 

"I...I had to tell you first, Harry. I knew if I told Louis first, he'd probably punch me in the face and Niall would cry and I wouldn't really enjoy either of those so I told you because you're the only one strong enough to hear this." Zayn rushes that out quickly, as if it would make Harry stop looking as hurt as he does but, it doesn't.

His eyes are unreadable, even in this dim lighting. He's just staring at Zayn as if he'd just dropped a bomb on Japan. But instead of Japan, it's his soul. And the tears don't go unnoticed. 

"Harry, listen. It's just something I've been thinking about for a while. I just...I want to live in New York. I want to be an artist, a photographer as well. I want to own a studio and I want to get exposure-"

"You could do all of that in London. At least then I could still get to you by car," Harry spits. 

"It won't be the same, Harry." Zayn shakes his head, "There's nothing for me here."

"There's nothing for you in New York either," Harry retorts and it's the first time Zayn's seen him come of as a bit hostile. "Here...Zayn, you have things here."

"But none of it is relavent to what I want to do."

"But it has everything you need." Harry sits up, leaning on his knees, his face buried in his hands.

Zayn frowns, "I didn't bring you here to make you upset." He tugs his shirt and bites his lip. "Common, H. Forget I said anything. Just lay with me. Let's talk about Cartoon Network conspiracies. I heard this one about Ed, Edd and Eddy saying that the cul de sac is actually purgatory." 

"Zayn, I can't just forget about something like this," he clicks his tongue. Though there's a sour look on his face, he lays down next to Zayn once more. "You can't..."

"Sshh," Zayn frowns. "Nevermind. I'm sorry and I'll rethink it. Okay?" Harry stares at Zayn a few moments before nodding and resting his head closer to Zayn. "Now, how about that conspiracy theory?"

-

Somewhere between dusk and dawn, Zayn had fallen asleep to the low hum of Harry singing some random song he's heard from the radio. When his eyes open once again, there's light peaking into the room from the window and he can hear the rattling of dishes downstairs along with three voices, Harry, Louis and Zedd. Zayn quickly heads to the bathroom and washes himself up before going down the steps and finding the three in the kitchen.

Zedd looks tired and Zayn doesn't know what it is but he's just always looked that way ever since he'd come back.

"Morning," he says. It's normal for Zayn to wake up and find Louis in his house, usually having Harry follow close behind, and lounging around. He knows where they keep the extra key and ever since his parents moved back to Doncaster with his sisters, he needs a place to eat when his fridge is empty.

Harry and Louis had moved in a couple of months ago but they're still trying to get the hang of balancing bills and food so they're sometimes a bit short on one of the other. By the looks of the feast Harry had going, Zayn assumed it was the latter.

"All this food and no Nialler?" Zayn huffs while taking a seat next to Zedd.

"He's on his way, don't worry," Louis pipes up. "He said he was stopping somewhere first but your boyfriend will be here soon." Zayn rolls his eyes as smirks cross the faces of both Harry and Zedd.

"Have you found yourself a fit man to bring home to me yet, Zayn?" Zedd asks, half laughing.

"Excuse me! Harry is here, isn't he?" Zayn gestures to the curly haired boy who was making omelets. Harry turns to the conversation and winks, blowing a kiss their way. "See?"

It was when he was sixteen when Zayn realized that the reason why Harry and Niall's efforts of finding him a nice girlfriend wasn't because he was stubborn but more so because he preferred males.

He had come out to Harry first, his first consultant on anything life changing. And once Harry knew, he just had to tell his boyfriend who told his favorite drinking buddy and before Zayn knew it, Harry and Niall had a whole line of bachelors standing outside of the toyshop, ready for a chance, Louis being the ring leader and telling them to have their applications ready as well as their medical records (because he can't have his best mate date someone with an infection or something like that).

When Zayn told Zedd, they were in the car when Zedd had said 

"So, when are you going to bring me home a niece?" 

To which Zayn replied, "Never."

There was an awkward silence before Zedd chuckled and said, "Okay. What about a nephew?"

Zedd says he's always just kind of known. He was just waiting for Zayn to tell him.

"I'd just like to remind you that just because Harry let's you cuddle him sometimes, doesn't mean he's yours," Louis pouts as Harry presents him with a cup of steaming tea.

"Whatever you say, Tommo," Zayn teases while pecking Harry playfully on the cheek.

Without a second beat, the door flies open and in walks Niall. He's energetic as always, smile brighter than morning sun, and he's got a bag in his hands.

"What's that?" Zayn asks, pointing as Niall takes a seat on the other side of him. "Brought me presents?"

Niall rolls his eyes and opens it to show a quarter bag full of maltesers. "Liam gave them to me. I just got back from there. He said I could have them because Taylor keeps getting into them."

"Liam?" Louis pipes up.

"The lad we met at the bakery, dear. The one with the cute son?" Harry tries to jog his memory as he sets his food down in front of him. 

Louis sits back, thinking for a moment before a light goes off in his head. "Ah, yes. Liam. I didn't quite fancy him, if I'm being honest." Harry and Niall both frown, showing their obvious distaste to his opinion. 

"And why don't you like him?" Zedd cocks an eyebrow, leaning forward as if they were school girls sharing secrets.

Louis picks up his fork and shrugs his shoulder. "He just...doesn't seem like he's telling the entire truth, s'all."


End file.
